Keeping Sleep on Track for the Holidays (and always!)
Moving from a Crib to a Big Kid Bed
Moving from a crib to a “big kid bed” is a major milestone for both you and your little one, but in my opinion, not one that should be rushed. Just like any other milestone, there’s the potential that it might lead to some sleep regressions. It’s a big change for a child, and probably the first major one around their sleeping conditions, so it’s no surprise that they may feel a little apprehensive at first. But with the right approach, you can likely avoid some of the more common issues that come with the switch.
Timing is Key
Don’t do it. Wait as long as possible before making the switch to a big kid bed, preferably over the age of 3. This may not always be possible, especially if your little one’s doing some dangerous climbing to get out of their crib. Even in this scenario, there are things you can do to discourage this and I always try those things first (a sleep sack, lowering the mattress to the floor, turning the crib backwards if the back of crib is higher than front and moving the crib to a corner). But if there’s no urgent need to make the switch, it’s best to wait. It is extremely difficult for a child to developmentally understand *why* they must say in their bed before age 2.5 years old.
Communication is Crucial
Make sure you’re communicating your expectations. Sit down with your little one and explain the situation to them, framing it in a very fun and positive way. Let them know that they’re getting a new bed, offer to let them pick it out, help assemble it (if you and your partner have the temperament), and have some casual conversations about the change during the day. Putting the change into a really enjoyable and celebratory light can work wonders in helping your child embrace the change.
Expect Some Pushback
Your child may have a bit of a “honeymoon phase” initially, then at week 3 or 4, they might start to get out of bed and experiment with their newfound freedom. They might play in their room, come out to visit after bedtime, and so on.
Offering some incentive to stay in their bed can help prevent this behavior. Make a little picture chart with each step of the bedtime routine and end it with “Stayed in Bed Until Morning!” Offer a small reward every morning they get through the night without leaving their room. It doesn’t have to be anything big; a “fun-size” treat, or a dollar store trinket will often do the trick. You could also use stickers, coins, or something that “builds” over time that they can “cash in” for an item of their choice.
Stand Your Ground
Don’t give in if they ask to go back to their crib. You don’t want to give the impression that the change is optional. Whatever their argument is for wanting to go back to their crib, listen to them, address the concern in a thoughtful manner, offer some reassurance, and make some small changes (new sheets, different pillow, move the bed to a different spot in the room). However, don’t offer to put them back in the crib. Any concession at this point will likely lead to the same issue the next time you try to move them into a regular bed.
Use a Clock
Get them a clock. Get your little one a digital clock and put some tape over the minutes, so that all they can see is the hour. Let them know that they’re not allowed to leave their room until that number says 7, or whatever time you’re comfortable with them getting up. This helps to minimize negotiating since they can’t argue with the clock.
There are also several child-themed clocks, like the OK To Wake, that glow a certain color when it’s time to get up. They’re a fine alternative, but just make sure they don’t emit any blue light during the night. A red light is a great signal for sleep because “red means bed”. Sometimes I let my kiddos clients choose the wake up color, this gives them a little more buy-in to staying in bed until that color shows.
Establish Consequences
Even in situations where toddlers respond well to a regular bed, they’re almost certainly going to leave their room after lights out at least a few times, just to see what happens. In those situations, there need to be consequences.
I usually suggest they get one warning and if they leave their room again, that’s when the consequence gets implemented. Closing their bedroom door all the way for a minute at a time is a very effective one, as is taking away their lovie. Again, only for a minute (or less to start!). Increase the time for every subsequent infraction, so a minute the first time, a minute 15 the next, and so on. Taking the lovey for a short period of time as you close the door is also a consequence that works well.
Remember that a consequence is only effective if the child doesn’t like it. I know that nobody likes to give consequence to their little ones, but with a little consistency and determination in the early stages here, you’re likely to see your little one respond quickly, and there won’t be the need for consequences down the road.
Steps to a Smooth Transition
- Preparation:
- Explain the move to the new bed positively.
- Set a date and stick to it.
- Allow your child to choose their bed and bedding to create a sense of ownership.
- Maintain Routine:
- Keep the new bed in the same place as the crib.
- Avoid making other changes to the room or routine.
- Low-Key Approach:
- Avoid making a big production out of the switch. Doing so puts a lot of pressure on your child.
- Keep bedtime routines predictable and unchanged.
- Monitor and Adjust:
- Address any initial resistance with positive reinforcement.
- Implement consequences for repeated behavior like leaving the bed.
- Stay Consistent:
- Use known effective consequences like closing the door or removing a lovie.
- Increase the duration of consequences for repeated infractions.
By waiting until an appropriate age, preparing your child and maintaining consistency, you can help ensure a smooth and successful transition to a big kid bed. Happy sleeping!
Wishing you peaceful nights and more Slumber Time,
Jade Smith, Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant
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